McDonald’s will be completely vegan by 2015

DOYLESTOWN, PA:  McDonald’s (NYSE: MCD) today announced that their entire menu would be vegan by 2015. “We think that by making the entire menu vegan will be good for the environment and also good for our bottom line.” Said McDonald’s Pete Bensen, Executive Vice President and Chief Financial Officer. This will lower McDonald’s carbon emission and Amazon deforestation by 10%. PETA’s co-founder, Ingrid Newkirk, commented “This is really good news for the animals. This will save the lives of billions of animals and millions of people around the world.” Neal D. Barnard, M.D., President of PCRM added “McDonald’s will now be a world leader in reducing obesity and diabetes making it possible for McDonald’s customers to live well into their 90s.” It has been found that vegan diets reduce the risk of hypertension while obesity, sodium, and alcohol consumption increase blood pressure and risk of hypertension.

President and Chief Executive Officer Don Thompson said “With all of the great vegan substitute in the world today from Boca Burgers, Beyond Meat Chicken-Free Strips, and Daiya Cheese there is no reason not to make the menu vegan.” McDonald’s will now be using Veganaise, 365 Chickenless Nuggets, and Sophie’s Kitchen Breaded Vegan Fish Fillets. Milk shakes will be made from bananas, cashews, and almond milk. The Tofu McMuffin will replace the Egg McMuffin.

McDonald’s has given notice today to make sure their meat, dairy, and egg producers have a chance to reduce their breeding and find homes for the other animals. “We have been overwhelmed by the number of animals being turned over.” Said Gene Baur, president and co-founder of Farm Sanctuary. Farm Sanctuary is planning to open a new safe haven for farm animals on a former 1,000-acre factory farm in Nebraska. “People want meat.  We’re producing safe and cost-effective meat in, arguably, the most cattle-conscious way.” said Bob McCan, NCBA President. The meat and dairy industry has been too slow in changing the way they treat animals for McDonald’s. Agribusiness has been able to operate in a way that puts profit above the welfare of animals.

Today stock prices of Cargill and Tyson fell 25% while stock prices of soy and corn rose. McDonald’s stock price rose $1.50 to $96.33 on the news. Now everyone will be lovin’ it at McDonald’s and so will the animals.

6 Responses to “McDonald’s will be completely vegan by 2015”
  1. Sheila says:

    I couldn’t even get a salad at McDonnalds that is vegan. Of course, happy April Fools!

  2. Bostjan says:

    And I belive in Santa! hehe

  3. ITgal says:

    So is this a fake article?

  4. sharon jones says:

    i like this but is this going to be in very mcdonald’s ? i live in georgia so are they doing it here?